His 20 years as a cop was over.
Never did he commit perjury, take or solicit a bribe, use excessive force to make an arrest or perform any other dishonest behavior. No shades of grey, that is the truth. Anyone who knew him (cops and perps) could attest to this fact. His integrity was never compromised.
This duality cop thing was never a problem for him. He had plenty of “iffy” opportunities, but he did not succumb to temptation. He was no goody-two-shoes, God-fearing Christian, he was just him.
He really took this cop shit seriously.
There was ONLY one exception: People who abuse children and victims of sexual abuse. Street Justice was always out of the question, but these situations tested his convictions.
All cops despise those people, as did he.
Street Justice, in case you don’t know: is you tune the motherfucker up; that is, a swift kick in the ass, a hard whack with a nightstick, or even a knee to the balls. Anything that insures some asshole who’s probably going to get away with a heinous crime gets some punishment and the victim gets some justice, albeit small.
After seeing a despicable act, he would get quiet, his face had an eerie look like he was teetering to the edge, but it would always dissipate. His moral challenge was met and overcome. Control. But there was probably an underlying dissatisfaction that never would disappear.
Where he got the ability to control himself, I’ll never know. To be sure, he had never, ever, under any condition, administered street justice, but those were the categories of policing that had tried and tempted his integrity. But again, he never broke.
Control probably came with an emotional cost. Who knows?